HOT FLASH

I ran quickly out of the house in my short sleeve shirt with a glass of ice tea gripped firmly in my hand.  I dashed for the bench that sat under a large oak tree, not looking for shade; but the quiet serenity of the moment and a cool breeze.  I begun to fan and drink ice tea in November, boy was I hot!  The hot flash seemed to bring on the mood swing or was it the other way around. Boy, I was hot!

As I sat on that bench drinking my ice tea, my legs slowly open to receive all the cool air I could.  I thought, if only I had ran out of the office last week and sat under the oak tree, it would have saved me from a disagreement with my boss, Mr. Jones.   

 He had been badgering me to complete a project that required six weeks of research.  A week had passed and there he stood inside my cubicle making unrealistic demands,

 “ I can not go on my vacation until that project is done, and therefore, I need it completed by the end of the week!” my boss said.

The sound of his voice activated a hot flash, and in an instant sweat popped on my forehead and ran down my cheeks that trigged my mood swing.

“What did you say?” rolled out of my mouth.

“You heard what I said!” He replied

At that moment, my body must have turned, my head must have rotated, and fire poured out of my mouth,

 “You need to get the hell…out of my cubicle, before I say something I might regret!”

 It must have been either the tone in my voice or the look on my face, Mr. Jones immediately rush out of my cubicle.

I knew I was going to be fired, but it just didn’t matter; I needed a cool place to sit until my hot flash passed.  

  I tried to remember what my mother told me to do about menopause, now that the FDA took the hormone drugs away. I need some type of intervention before I lose my job or before my body catches on fire.

I do recalled my mother saying something like: 

1.  Always try to stay in a cool places.

2.  When you have flashes try to avoid contact with any living creatures even ants.  Your mood swings might kick in and you will hurt someone without cause.

3. Carry a large towel and a change of clothes, because sometime flashes last more than a minute and you might find yourself soaking wet. 

4. Avoid taking those hormone pills, they seem to cause cancer.

5. Drink soy product! She really didn’t know why.

6.When all else fails, have a cold glass of St. James Warts Tea.

  I love womanhood, and I am happy I reached fifty, but I am very disappointed about having my own private summer in the dead of winter. 

I always hoped that hell was after death, but now I am not so sure.  Hot flashes are a form of punishment for me, and I put all the blame on Eve. It’s all her fault! 

Until I find a better way, please breeze! Blow my way.