Good Times and Bad
A humor filled chronicle of one curmudgeon's quest for happiness.
by
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Holding my breath, I pawed through the contents and there, surrounded by strips of shredded newspaper packing, was the steering knob. Yee-hah. I must have been one of the first twenty five people. I had never won anything in my life but my luck had just changed.
I was the proud owner of a steering knob and boy, it was beautiful. Of course, I had plans to make it even more gorgeous. Grabbing the scissors, I trimmed a picture of Annette Funicello I had ripped out of a movie magazine and glued it to the face of the steering knob.
Next, I installed the miracle power booster between the distributor cap and the coil wire just as the diagram showed. I also removed my leopard skin steering wheel cover and installed the free steering knob high on the wheel and just to the right of center where I could grab it in an instant when the need arose. Hello, Bill. I was ready.
The engine purred like a huge cat ready to pounce and it seemed to me like I could feel the increased power in my tennis shoe resting firmly on the accelerator. I still couldn’t make the tires scream when I gave it the gas. As a matter of fact, the engine coughed like it had a fishbone caught in its throat but I figured it was the humidity or something. I was ready to go cruising.
I put the collar of my shirt up in back and also left the top 3 buttonholes empty just like Elvis. One glance in the mirror and I knew I was pretty much there. That could have almost been the King himself staring back at me from the rear view mirror. If I could have done something about my skinny, hairless chest showing through the gaping shirtfront, things would have been perfect.
I set out in search of a particular girl living on the fashionable North side of town. That’s when it happened. I was practicing my Elvis Presley lip curl as I went by Earlene Baxter standing on the sidewalk in front of her house. She wasn’t the girl I was looking for but still, she was a girl and not half bad looking. I had the radio cranked up as loud as she’d go and that rear speaker was vibrating so hard, I thought it was going to jump out of the back window. All I needed was an Elvis Presley tune on the radio to make the scene complete. But at that moment, as luck would have it, all we had was a Farm Bureau commercial promoting their new artificial insemination procedure.
Hoping Earlene didn’t notice the radio man bragging about what he could do for my dairy herd, I slammed the accelerator to the floor and the Miracle Power Booster sprung into action. There didn’t seem to be a noticeable increase in speed but it sure felt like I was going faster. I roared by her and at the corner of Walker and Oak, I used my brand new steering knob to put the old Plymouth into what I perceived to be a power slide twirling that knob in a clockwise fashion for all I was worth. I’m pretty sure I saw a glance of pure admiration on Earlene’s face as I went by. I expertly negotiated the maneuver and let go of the steering knob thinking that the wheel would come back around. It didn’t.
The steering knob, now twirling in a counter clockwise direction, was snagged by the gaping front of my unbuttoned shirt and although it ripped out the two remaining buttons, the material held. I never completed the turn. The car, still in the power slide, jumped the curb and went straight into the bushes around Otto Harris’s house. My head hit the roof of the car when it bounced, squishing maybe a half pound of Brylcreem into the headliner where it remained for the life of the vehicle. It also pretty much knocked me silly but I had enough presence of mind to slam on the brakes before I hit the house.
I hoped Earlene hadn’t noticed and it’s possible she didn’t. When I looked up, it appeared as if she was having a stomach cramp or something because she was doubled over on the sidewalk. I thought perhaps I should help her but I
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About the Book
Good Times and Bad contains an eclectic collection of stories, most of which first saw the light of day as newspaper columns. The subject matter ranges from a nostalgic look at growing up in the Truman/Eisenhower era to the trials and tribulations of forty plus years of marriage as well as the travels of the Author, his wife, Susie and their RV, ‘Fionna’.
A word of warning. If you’re looking for a car chase or a steamy bedroom scene, then just move on down the road because they're not in these pages. However, if you like browsing antique shops or yard sales looking for the unusual, then you’ll like this book.
Like Travels with Susie, the book is part travelogue, part monologue, part History book, a tiny bit of birdwatcher’s guide and all entertainment. It has a story to suit almost everyone.
When you open the pages of Good Times and Bad, be prepared to ride your bike by the cemetery after dark, experience the thrill of the Miracle Power Booster and watch as John Roger Goodbody feeds quarters to the Rubber machine. And that's only Part One.
There are also stories of travel in
And finally, if you look close, you will discover that when the author is not busy reporting on the human condition, he is unwittingly realizing what life is all about as he learns more about our world than he ever expected or wanted to know.
About the Author
Gordon Grindstaff was raised in a small town in
The experience of raising 4 children in the countryside of central
Gordon and Susie have been married forty four years. After retirement, they sold everything they owned and set out in their RV to see the sights of our Country, Canada
Their travels led to a journal which quickly became a regular monthly piece for Senior Life Magazine of Southwest Florida. Gordon also writes a self syndicated Newspaper column published weekly in four newspapers in two countries. His award winning prose is sometimes hilarious, sometimes sentimental, once in a while nostalgic and always entertaining.
His writings, in addition to producing the book, 'Travels with Susie', have also twice received recognition by the Community Newspapers of Florida Association.
Gordon and Susie are still volunteering in state and National Parks around the country and have firm commitments through 2009.
After that, who knows? Even though they’re kicking and screaming the whole way, nonetheless old age is slowly creeping up on the two of them. Add to that, fuel prices and the general malaise currently seen in the economy. The combination of these things almost certainly will dictate a second look at their lifestyle.